When my heart breaks, what do I do? To whom or from where do I first run and seek comfort, protection, warmth, love?

Today, my darling husband and I received a text with enormously distressing news. A text filled with bitterness, slander, ungodly opinions given as facts—falsehood presented as truth and poison poured into an open and already painful wound. A wound that has never been given a chance to recover before more poison is poured into it and thus overruns it.

When a loved one professes Christ, yet considers it a small thing (if he considers it at all) to sin against God; confesses this is wrong, yet remains apathetic, and therefore, continues to sin without cause, what is one to do?

All I had the strength to do, was to cry out, “LORD, help me!” And immediately, the Holy Spirit put Psalm 121 in my mind. So immediately, I opened the Word of my Lord, and this is what I received from Him,

In my distress I called to the LORD,

   and He answered me.
Deliver me, O LORD,

   from lying lips,

   from a deceitful tongue.

What shall be given to you,

   and what more shall be done to you,

   you deceitful tongue?

A warrior’s sharp arrows,

   with glowing coals of the broom tree!

Woe to me, that I sojourn in Meshech,

   that I dwell among the tents of Kedar!

Too long have I had my dwelling

   among those who hate peace.

I am for peace,

   but when I speak, they are for war!

When my darling husband read me the text, my heart sank. My mind fumbled about as it tried to keep up with, and make sense of, the slander and bitterness that was hurled at me…by someone who was once close to me. Someone I once held dear. Someone I have and still do love with all my heart. Someone I pray daily for God’s mercy to bring him to truth.

So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

~2 Timothy 2:22-26, ESV

Every slander does not need to be addressed. Every emotionally-established and unbiblically-based notion does not require a response.

So to answer my question: What am I to do when my heart breaks? I remember and obey what my great and merciful and perfectly loving God and Father recorded in Psalm 121:1-2, “I lift my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.” And I will wait on the LORD.

Part of my reading and study today was 1 Corinthians 11 and Hebrews 6.

It still awes me to consider how carefully and lovingly the LORD, my God and Father, supplies all I need ever before I know I need it. And by His loving-kindness and faithfulness, He teaches me more about Him as He exalts (by lifting up to Himself) everyone who humbles themselves to seek His face. For a broken spirit and a broken and contrite heart, He will never despise (cf. Ps 51:16-17).

As I type this, my heart is broken and deeply grief-stricken for my loved ones who are far from God. Some who know it, and others who are (more than likely), self-deceived in their religiosity rather than truly saved by the cleansing of their conscience with the blood of Christ Jesus.

Be imitators of me, as I also am of Christ. (1 Corinthians 11:1, NASB95)

The Apostle Paul repeats this commandment from 1 Corinthians 11:1 elsewhere in Scripture—1 Corinthians 4:16, Philippians 3:17-19. We know this commandment is weighty because it is not only a commandment and instruction to all God's children on how to discern who we ought and ought not to imitate, but it is repeated a third time by the writer of Hebrews in Chapter 13 verse 7.

We are commanded, not asked by God Almighty, to avail ourselves to all He has provided us; that we may mature in the Lord Jesus and bear much good fruit (obeying God as Christ)—in His name—for His glory. We are commanded, not asked by the LORD of hosts to imitate and listen to those who speak and act by the power of the Holy Spirit and for the glory of God. We are commanded, not asked by our merciful God and Father to flee from those who speak and act by their opinions and for themselves.

As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as on who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be gloried through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

~1 Peter 4:10-11

I was with you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling, and my message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in the demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God.

~1 Corinthians 2:3-5

If anyone advocates a different doctrine and does not agree with sound words, those of our Lord Jesus Christ, and with the doctrine conforming to godliness, he is conceited and understands nothing; but he has a morbid interest in controversial questions and disputes about words, out of which arise envy, strife, abusive language, evil suspicions, and constant friction between men of depraved minds and deprived of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain…But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness.

~1 Timothy 6:3-5, 11

But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these…evil men and impostors will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.

~2 Timothy 3:1-5, 13

To keep us humble, no matter what spiritual gifts Christ gives or what natural talents and qualities God has created in us, no human being is able to live the holy life God commands, alone or by his/her own opinions of good and evil, wisdom and foolishness.

The only righteous standard is easily found and readily available in the Word of God.

Imitate the speech, deeds, and life-giving ways of those who imitate Christ Jesus. Resolve to accept and earnestly seek the counsel and teaching and rebuke only from those who speak the Word and holy precepts of God Almighty. But in order to discern rightly, read and study the Scriptures others use, to speak, counsel, teach, and rebuke you with, so that like the Bereans (Acts 17:11-12) you may be accepted and commended by God rather than men.

For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.

~Galatians 1:10

I’m sitting here thinking, “How may I wisely and prudently share all the good the LORD, my God and Father, my Savior, my Rock and my Redeemer—my greatest and preeminent love and life, has done for me?”

It’s not possible to share it all because there’s just not enough time or room in this world to be able to encapsulate the goodness of God in just one little life, for the past 53 years (Ps 40:5). So what shall I share, and how shall I share it? What is most edifying and what is the least useful for you to consume? I want to feed, comfort, and strengthen you with the former rather than starve, discourage, and burden you with the latter.

Thanks be to God for His Holy Spirit who always testifies to Christ!

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Eph 4:29) and, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.” (Ps 19:14) and, “A prudent man conceals knowledge, but the heart of fools proclaim folly.” (Prov 12:23) and, “May my teaching drop as the rain, my speech distill as the dew, like gentle rain upon the tender grass, and like showers upon the herb. For I will proclaim the name of the LORD; ascribe greatness to our God!” (Dt 32:2-3).

After 13 years of brutal beatings and severe persecution because I would not forsake Christ my Lord, by God's magnificent mercy and grace, He's endured me through these past 15 years of constant and often debilitating pain with 20 surgeries (due to damage in most of my organs from the beatings) I want to encourage you with this truth: Suffering is not the worst and dying is not the end.

This testimony of God's grace in the life of our brother Joel Tiegreen (who was called Home to our God and Father and our Lord Jesus Christ a few months after this video was made) has been, and continues to be a great source of comfort and encouragement to me. And I want to share God's kindness to me through this, with all of you. 

In certain churches and Christian circles, there’s a common question that’s asked, “What’s your life verse?” It’s supposed to mean something grand, but I’m afraid that in most cases, it is not.

It sounds spiritually mature to ask and answer this question. But after 49 years of my new birth, rarely have I heard this question or answer come from a place of substance—of eternal value and weight. Rather, both this question and its answer are more often in the vein of, “What’s your all-time favorite verse? You know, the one that reminds you of how special and wonderfully loved you are and comforts you when you need it most?”

In the past, I too have asked and answered this seemingly deep, but shallow question. Why? Because at that time in my life, I didn’t know any better. And by God’s grace and mercy, I’m inclined to extend His compassion to others who have and still ask and answer this question in like manner, rather than harshly condemn them for not knowing any better as I do now (cf. Rom 12:3). For participating in this activity is not sinful in itself. But it is unwise since it can lead to the sins of pride, self-righteousness, and false-piety.

None of us are born knowing and thoroughly understanding everything. Nor do any of us, at any time in our lives, wake up one morning and suddenly have full knowledge and understanding of all things—save Christ Jesus.

But as we draw nearer to our Lord Jesus, singularly focusing on His face, His Word, His will, and the majesty and beauty of His holiness and love, we can’t help but think more like Him, talk more like Him, have a heart more like Him (loving what He loves, hating what He hates, being humored by what He’s humored by).

Just as it is with all created things that are still alive (people, animals, plants, etc.) we are conformed to what, where, how, and with whom our time and energy is most spent.

If our time, energy, and resources are largely spent on temporal things, then our minds, hearts, and speech will bear the fruit of that (Mt 6:19, Gal 5:19-21); clearly revealing who or what is most precious to us, and what we most cherish and treasure (Mt 6:21, 7:21).

Matthew 6:33, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” could, by all accounts, be everyone’s life verse.

This singular verse magnificently encompasses what most pleases God our Father, and suits every situation and circumstance for anyone—for our entire lives.

Are you sick? Are you hungry? Are you poor and needy? Are you proud and suffering the fruit of that sin? Are you lonely, or are you too overwhelmed with company? Are you misunderstood? Are you mistreated? Are you persecuted for Christ’s sake? Are you happy and well? The list goes on.

Whether we experience pain or pleasantries, it is always good and right to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. In pain, this diligent and daily practice keeps us from acting in, or being overcome by: anger, fear, and anxiety. In pleasantries, it keeps us from acting in, or being overcome by: megalomania, false humility, and self-indulgence.

It is in this holy and happy practice of seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness that we are (in any and every circumstance) enveloped in the inexplicable blessedness and peace of wholly submitting to, and resting in, the good and perfect sovereignty of the LORD GOD Almighty (cf. Prov 3:5-8).

But know that the LORD has set apart the godly for

       Himself;

   the LORD hears when I call to Him.

Be angry, and do not sin;

   ponder in your own hearts on your beds,

       and be silent.                      Selah

Offer right sacrifices,

   and put your trust in the LORD.

There are many who say, “Who will show us some good?

   Lift up the light of Your face upon us, O LORD!”

You have put more joy in my heart

   than they have when their grain and wine abound.

In peace I will both lie down and sleep;

   for You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

~Psalm 4:3-8

For further encouragement and warm exhortation on Matthew 6:33, listen to my pastor’s sermon from February 6, 2022, The Christian’s Pursuit. You’ll definitely want a journal, pen, and tissues (because you’ll find yourself both grateful and repentant as you listen).

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

~1 Peter 1:3-7, ESV (emphasis mine)

Often, an efficiency of words prove to make or break the meaning and/or weightiness of an entire thought. But we no longer live in the luxury of an instant coffee or microwave society. After all, it takes at least three whole minutes (or sometimes longer) to microwave popcorn! Which is why we quickly lose interest and move on if anything we read, watch, or listen to takes longer than one minute.

Unfortunately, this very immature and dangerous lifestyle of living in the urgency of self-satisfaction and entertainment has entered the Church. This deeply grieves me. Every. Single. Day.

When we skim over the holy Scriptures, no longer reading carefully, studying prudently, or meditating lovingly on it, we complain and fret like the lost world. We easily miss one important word, or two (e.g., if necessary) that deepen our understanding of the entire passage.

Because God’s economy is perfect, He wastes nothing (Jn 6:12-13). And because “the LORD, the LORD, [is] a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness” (Ex 34:6) He does not afflict us from His heart, but afflicts us always and only, because it was/is/will be, necessary for our eternal good—that we may be made like Christ—complete and lacking nothing good (cf. Ps 119:67, 71; Rom 5:3-4; Jas 1:2-4).

Below, is comforting and exhorting wisdom from and excerpt of Lewis Bayly’s (c. 1575-1631), The Practice of Piety of why God our Father allows and brings us to afflictions—that we will not be found to have wasted our lives, but rather, that our lives may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

“Meditations for the Sick

“1. That by afflictions God may not only correct our sins past, but also work in us a deeper loathing of our natural corruptions, and so prevent us from falling into many other sins which otherwise we would commit…

“2. God sends affliction to seal unto us our adoption, for “the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons [Heb 12:7-8, 11]…

“3. God sends affliction to wean our hearts from too much loving this world and worldly vanities; and to cause us the more earnestly to desire and long for eternal life…

“4. By affliction and sickness God exercises his children, and the graces which he bestows upon them. He refines and tries their faith, as the goldsmith does his gold in the furnace—to make it shine more glistening and brightly (1 Pet. 1:7;) he stirs us up to pray more diligently, and zealously, and proves what patience we have learned all this while in his school of affliction…

“5. God sends afflictions, to demonstrate to the world the trueness of his children’s love and service. Every hypocrite will serve God while he prospers and blesses him, as the devil falsely accused Job to have done: but who (but his loving child) will love and serve him in adversity…

“6. Sanctified affliction is a singular help to further our true conversion, and to drive us home by repentance to our heavenly Father…

“7. Affliction works in us pity and compassion toward our fellow-brethren that are in distress and misery; whereby we learn to have a fellow-feeling of their calamities, and to condole their estate, as if we suffered with them (Heb 13:3). And for this cause Christ himself would suffer, and be tempted in all things like unto us (sin only excepted) that he might be a merciful High Priest, touched with the feeling of our infirmities (Heb 4:15; Heb 2:18; Heb 5:8-9)…

“8. God uses our sicknesses and afflictions as means and examples both to manifest to others the faith and virtues which he has bestowed upon us, as also to strengthen those who have not received so great a measure of faith as we…

“9. By afflictions God makes us conformable to the image of Christ his Son (Rom 8:18; 1 Pet 4:14), who being the captain of our salvation, was made perfect through sufferings (Heb 2:10) And therefore he first bore the cross in shame, before he was crowned with glory (Heb 2:7)…

“10. Lastly, that the godly may be humbled in respect of their own state and misery; and God glorified by delivering them out of their troubles and afflictions, when they call upon him for his help and support…”

For further comfort and encouragement from the LORD himself, read these Scriptures and the entire chapter that each are found in: 1 Peter 1:3-7; Isaiah 30:18; Lamentations 3:31-33; Psalm 119:67, 71, Philippians 4:16-18.

Meek: patient, long-suffering, or submissive in disposition or nature; humble; humbly patient or quiet in nature, as under provocation from others.—synonym: gentle (ref. dictionary.com).

And He [Jesus the Christ] opened His mouth and taught them, saying:
   "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
   "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
   "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
   "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
   "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
   "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
   "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
   "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
   "Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on [M]y account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

~Matthew 5:2-12, ESV [edits mine]

When you read this familiar passage—the Beatitudes, what do you do with it? Do you skip it? Smile and skim over it? Feel warm and fuzzy? Convicted? Find them unrelatable? Is it merely an ethereal and/or ephemeral thought? Does it pass by and through you like a gentle breeze that provides a refreshing calm, but with no lasting effect of comfort?

Or, does it make you wonder? Do you understand every blessedness? Or do you know you don’t, but are satisfied to have only a cursory, possibly correct or incorrect knowledge of it?

When you read this passage, do you realize that Christ has fully embodied every one of these blessed states of perfect and holy righteousness?

When Jesus was here,

He lived His entire life poor in spirit so that we would inherit the riches of eternal life in Him.

He was a man acquainted with sorrows, so that we may know the ultimate joy and happiness of being reconciled to God Almighty through His the shedding of His precious blood.

He lived wholly meek and lowly so that we might be lifted up to God our Father as cleansed and forgiven disciples in Christ.

He constantly hungered and thirsted for righteousness to make all who repent and trust in Him, the righteousness of God.

He practiced perfect mercy so that we may receive the mercy of God rather than His wrath; and thus, compassionately extend this godly mercy to others.

There is none purer in heart than Christ our God; and He lived as such in bodily form so that in Him, our consciences are purified to love what God loves and hate what He hates.

Christ sacrificed His body, to sow peace between evil and obstinate humanity, with kind and goodly God Almighty.

He was persecuted for righteousness sake so that He might procure our salvation and become the propitiation for our sins.

He was reviled, beaten, slandered, and rejected by His own creation to purchase our salvation—our only means of acceptance in the sight of our holy, just, and all-wise God and Father.

When you read the Beatitudes do you think of these things? Do you carefully consider that Christ sanctified Himself by fulfilling all righteousness—obeying God the Father perfectly for our sake? And because the Lord Jesus well-pleased the Father, all who repent and trust in His perfect work for salvation, is loved and accepted by God our Father, just as He is? Therefore, we are now indwelt with the Holy Spirit who faithfully works the good work of Christ in us, so that we will suffer as He suffered (for righteousness sake), that we may be resurrected as He is and enjoy the pleasure of the Father for all eternity?

Only when we are meek, will we carefully consider these things. Only when we humble ourselves before God Almighty will we open His Word, not to find ourselves in it, but to find Him.