When my heart breaks, what do I do? To whom or from where do I first run and seek comfort, protection, warmth, love?

Today, my darling husband and I received a text with enormously distressing news. A text filled with bitterness, slander, ungodly opinions given as facts—falsehood presented as truth and poison poured into an open and already painful wound. A wound that has never been given a chance to recover before more poison is poured into it and thus overruns it.

When a loved one professes Christ, yet considers it a small thing (if he considers it at all) to sin against God; confesses this is wrong, yet remains apathetic, and therefore, continues to sin without cause, what is one to do?

All I had the strength to do, was to cry out, “LORD, help me!” And immediately, the Holy Spirit put Psalm 121 in my mind. So immediately, I opened the Word of my Lord, and this is what I received from Him,

In my distress I called to the LORD,

   and He answered me.
Deliver me, O LORD,

   from lying lips,

   from a deceitful tongue.

What shall be given to you,

   and what more shall be done to you,

   you deceitful tongue?

A warrior’s sharp arrows,

   with glowing coals of the broom tree!

Woe to me, that I sojourn in Meshech,

   that I dwell among the tents of Kedar!

Too long have I had my dwelling

   among those who hate peace.

I am for peace,

   but when I speak, they are for war!

When my darling husband read me the text, my heart sank. My mind fumbled about as it tried to keep up with, and make sense of, the slander and bitterness that was hurled at me…by someone who was once close to me. Someone I once held dear. Someone I have and still do love with all my heart. Someone I pray daily for God’s mercy to bring him to truth.

So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

~2 Timothy 2:22-26, ESV

Every slander does not need to be addressed. Every emotionally-established and unbiblically-based notion does not require a response.

So to answer my question: What am I to do when my heart breaks? I remember and obey what my great and merciful and perfectly loving God and Father recorded in Psalm 121:1-2, “I lift my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.” And I will wait on the LORD.

Part of my reading and study today was 1 Corinthians 11 and Hebrews 6.

It still awes me to consider how carefully and lovingly the LORD, my God and Father, supplies all I need ever before I know I need it. And by His loving-kindness and faithfulness, He teaches me more about Him as He exalts (by lifting up to Himself) everyone who humbles themselves to seek His face. For a broken spirit and a broken and contrite heart, He will never despise (cf. Ps 51:16-17).

As I type this, my heart is broken and deeply grief-stricken for my loved ones who are far from God. Some who know it, and others who are (more than likely), self-deceived in their religiosity rather than truly saved by the cleansing of their conscience with the blood of Christ Jesus.

Be imitators of me, as I also am of Christ. (1 Corinthians 11:1, NASB95)

The Apostle Paul repeats this commandment from 1 Corinthians 11:1 elsewhere in Scripture—1 Corinthians 4:16, Philippians 3:17-19. We know this commandment is weighty because it is not only a commandment and instruction to all God's children on how to discern who we ought and ought not to imitate, but it is repeated a third time by the writer of Hebrews in Chapter 13 verse 7.

We are commanded, not asked by God Almighty, to avail ourselves to all He has provided us; that we may mature in the Lord Jesus and bear much good fruit (obeying God as Christ)—in His name—for His glory. We are commanded, not asked by the LORD of hosts to imitate and listen to those who speak and act by the power of the Holy Spirit and for the glory of God. We are commanded, not asked by our merciful God and Father to flee from those who speak and act by their opinions and for themselves.

As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as on who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be gloried through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

~1 Peter 4:10-11

I was with you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling, and my message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in the demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God.

~1 Corinthians 2:3-5

If anyone advocates a different doctrine and does not agree with sound words, those of our Lord Jesus Christ, and with the doctrine conforming to godliness, he is conceited and understands nothing; but he has a morbid interest in controversial questions and disputes about words, out of which arise envy, strife, abusive language, evil suspicions, and constant friction between men of depraved minds and deprived of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain…But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness.

~1 Timothy 6:3-5, 11

But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these…evil men and impostors will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.

~2 Timothy 3:1-5, 13

To keep us humble, no matter what spiritual gifts Christ gives or what natural talents and qualities God has created in us, no human being is able to live the holy life God commands, alone or by his/her own opinions of good and evil, wisdom and foolishness.

The only righteous standard is easily found and readily available in the Word of God.

Imitate the speech, deeds, and life-giving ways of those who imitate Christ Jesus. Resolve to accept and earnestly seek the counsel and teaching and rebuke only from those who speak the Word and holy precepts of God Almighty. But in order to discern rightly, read and study the Scriptures others use, to speak, counsel, teach, and rebuke you with, so that like the Bereans (Acts 17:11-12) you may be accepted and commended by God rather than men.

For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.

~Galatians 1:10

I’m sitting here thinking, “How may I wisely and prudently share all the good the LORD, my God and Father, my Savior, my Rock and my Redeemer—my greatest and preeminent love and life, has done for me?”

It’s not possible to share it all because there’s just not enough time or room in this world to be able to encapsulate the goodness of God in just one little life, for the past 53 years (Ps 40:5). So what shall I share, and how shall I share it? What is most edifying and what is the least useful for you to consume? I want to feed, comfort, and strengthen you with the former rather than starve, discourage, and burden you with the latter.

Thanks be to God for His Holy Spirit who always testifies to Christ!

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Eph 4:29) and, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.” (Ps 19:14) and, “A prudent man conceals knowledge, but the heart of fools proclaim folly.” (Prov 12:23) and, “May my teaching drop as the rain, my speech distill as the dew, like gentle rain upon the tender grass, and like showers upon the herb. For I will proclaim the name of the LORD; ascribe greatness to our God!” (Dt 32:2-3).

After 13 years of brutal beatings and severe persecution because I would not forsake Christ my Lord, by God's magnificent mercy and grace, He's endured me through these past 15 years of constant and often debilitating pain with 20 surgeries (due to damage in most of my organs from the beatings) I want to encourage you with this truth: Suffering is not the worst and dying is not the end.

This testimony of God's grace in the life of our brother Joel Tiegreen (who was called Home to our God and Father and our Lord Jesus Christ a few months after this video was made) has been, and continues to be a great source of comfort and encouragement to me. And I want to share God's kindness to me through this, with all of you. 

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

~1 Peter 1:3-7, ESV (emphasis mine)

Often, an efficiency of words prove to make or break the meaning and/or weightiness of an entire thought. But we no longer live in the luxury of an instant coffee or microwave society. After all, it takes at least three whole minutes (or sometimes longer) to microwave popcorn! Which is why we quickly lose interest and move on if anything we read, watch, or listen to takes longer than one minute.

Unfortunately, this very immature and dangerous lifestyle of living in the urgency of self-satisfaction and entertainment has entered the Church. This deeply grieves me. Every. Single. Day.

When we skim over the holy Scriptures, no longer reading carefully, studying prudently, or meditating lovingly on it, we complain and fret like the lost world. We easily miss one important word, or two (e.g., if necessary) that deepen our understanding of the entire passage.

Because God’s economy is perfect, He wastes nothing (Jn 6:12-13). And because “the LORD, the LORD, [is] a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness” (Ex 34:6) He does not afflict us from His heart, but afflicts us always and only, because it was/is/will be, necessary for our eternal good—that we may be made like Christ—complete and lacking nothing good (cf. Ps 119:67, 71; Rom 5:3-4; Jas 1:2-4).

Below, is comforting and exhorting wisdom from and excerpt of Lewis Bayly’s (c. 1575-1631), The Practice of Piety of why God our Father allows and brings us to afflictions—that we will not be found to have wasted our lives, but rather, that our lives may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

“Meditations for the Sick

“1. That by afflictions God may not only correct our sins past, but also work in us a deeper loathing of our natural corruptions, and so prevent us from falling into many other sins which otherwise we would commit…

“2. God sends affliction to seal unto us our adoption, for “the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons [Heb 12:7-8, 11]…

“3. God sends affliction to wean our hearts from too much loving this world and worldly vanities; and to cause us the more earnestly to desire and long for eternal life…

“4. By affliction and sickness God exercises his children, and the graces which he bestows upon them. He refines and tries their faith, as the goldsmith does his gold in the furnace—to make it shine more glistening and brightly (1 Pet. 1:7;) he stirs us up to pray more diligently, and zealously, and proves what patience we have learned all this while in his school of affliction…

“5. God sends afflictions, to demonstrate to the world the trueness of his children’s love and service. Every hypocrite will serve God while he prospers and blesses him, as the devil falsely accused Job to have done: but who (but his loving child) will love and serve him in adversity…

“6. Sanctified affliction is a singular help to further our true conversion, and to drive us home by repentance to our heavenly Father…

“7. Affliction works in us pity and compassion toward our fellow-brethren that are in distress and misery; whereby we learn to have a fellow-feeling of their calamities, and to condole their estate, as if we suffered with them (Heb 13:3). And for this cause Christ himself would suffer, and be tempted in all things like unto us (sin only excepted) that he might be a merciful High Priest, touched with the feeling of our infirmities (Heb 4:15; Heb 2:18; Heb 5:8-9)…

“8. God uses our sicknesses and afflictions as means and examples both to manifest to others the faith and virtues which he has bestowed upon us, as also to strengthen those who have not received so great a measure of faith as we…

“9. By afflictions God makes us conformable to the image of Christ his Son (Rom 8:18; 1 Pet 4:14), who being the captain of our salvation, was made perfect through sufferings (Heb 2:10) And therefore he first bore the cross in shame, before he was crowned with glory (Heb 2:7)…

“10. Lastly, that the godly may be humbled in respect of their own state and misery; and God glorified by delivering them out of their troubles and afflictions, when they call upon him for his help and support…”

For further comfort and encouragement from the LORD himself, read these Scriptures and the entire chapter that each are found in: 1 Peter 1:3-7; Isaiah 30:18; Lamentations 3:31-33; Psalm 119:67, 71, Philippians 4:16-18.

What a year 2020 had been.

A year that seemed to be far worse than any that came before it.

And with high hopes built on resolutions we made, we were sure we could command and control the ushering in of a new year full of butterflies and rainbows—founded in self-reliance, ambiguity and redefining of all things by what “feels most right” for each person…at the moment.

There is no longer any absolutes of right or wrong, truth or error. We no longer recognize the weaknesses of different races, or celebrate the strengths we each have to offer. We are all Stepford Wives who look the same, have all the same skill sets, and can all do the same things with the same results, as long as we ourselves have decided it to be so.

Yes, unfortunately, it seems our yearning for the disaster and heartaches of 2020 to end once 2021 began, have all been doused with new leaders and new laws and a new social norms hurling us further down the miry pit of mass confusion.

It’s the futility of man attempting to rebuild the tower of Babel, in order to be our own gods—the master of our own souls and destinies.

There is truly nothing new under the sun (Ecc 1:9-11).

It seems that what we’ve endured these past 13 month is something far graver than all the years that came before. But in reality, it is not much different from previous years that have passed. Some of these turbulent years are as recent as a few decades ago (The Great Depression, 1929-1939; World War II, 1939; Pearl Harbor, 1941). Others happened hundreds of years ago (Bubonic Plague/Black Death, early-mid 1300s); with the greatest of them occurred 2,000 years ago—the inexplicably humble condescension of the Second Person of the Triune God—entering His own creation as a helpless babe—Christ the Lord. The only one, who at birth, was already the King of kings and the Lord of lords. He alone is the Ancient of Days. He alone is Eternal Life.

With the worldwide COVID-19 pandemic, our country’s civil unrest due to various people groups vying for supremacy, veiled as equality and unity (though it is the truest form of racial separatism and universal bigotry), and the results of the Presidential election; many have abandoned reason and rationale for obtuseness and oblivion of all that is good.

None of this sounds very promising does it? It all sounds rather daunting, doesn’t it? And it may well be for the majority, but not for the few of us who are in Christ Jesus. Why is it different for us? Because we are only passing by—this world is not our Home. It is our temporary mission field, where we are commanded by our Master and Lord, to carry on His work of proclaiming the Gospel of God’s grace to all men, in all places, and at all times as the Holy Spirit leads and works through us (Acts 20:24).

The purpose of every Christian is the same.

We are all commanded to expend and exhaust our God-given spiritual gifts, talents, resources, and position(s) of influence, to exalt the name of Jesus Christ and urge all people to repent and believe the Gospel (Rom 1:16-17).

This is why true Christians, true disciples of Christ, truly converted children of the Most High God are concerned about the going ons of the world around us, but we are not crushed by the daily news that surrounds us.

Understanding the present, through the past, for the future.

“Why then has this people turned away

   in perpetual backsliding?

They hold fast to deceit;

   they refuse to return.

I have paid attention and listened,

   but they have not spoken rightly;

no man relents of his evil,

   saying, ‘What have I done?’

Everyone turns to his own course,

   like a horse plunging headlong into battle.

Even the stork in the heavens

   knows her times,

and the turtledove, swallow, and crane

   keep the time of their coming,

but my people know not

   the rules of the LORD.

“Thus says the LORD:

“Learn not the way of nations,

   nor be dismayed at the signs of the heavens

   because the nations are dismayed at them

for the customs of the peoples are vanity.

“There is none like you, O LORD;

   you are great, and your name is great in might.

Who would not fear you, O King of the nations?

   For this is your due;

for among all the wise ones of the nations

   and in all their kingdoms

   there is none like you.

They are both stupid and foolish;

“But the LORD is the true God;

   he is the living God and the everlasting King.

At his wrath the earth quakes,

   and the nations cannot endure his indignation.”

~Jeremiah 8:5-7; 10:2-3a, 6-8a, 10

Freedom in God’s sovereignty, mercy, and grace.

As God’s holy and beloved children, we prudently perceive our current president, his cabinet, and all other leaders who have proudly proclaimed their allegiance to the building up of sinful desires of the flesh (1 Jn 2:16-17), just as our Father has commanded His children in times past.

We know that nothing is done without God’s active working or passive allowance, for the ultimate good (Christ likeness) for those He loves and has called according to His purpose (Rom 8:28-30, Titus 2:11-14).

“It is I [the LORD] who by my great power and my outstretched arm have made the earth, with the men and animals that are on the earth, and I give it to whomever it seems right to me. Now I have given all these lands into the hand of Nebuchadnezzar, the king of Babylon, my servant, and I have given him also the beasts of the field to serve him…if any nation of kingdom will not serve this Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon, and put his neck under the yoke of the king of Babylon, I will punish that nation with the sword, with famine, and with pestilence, declares the LORD, until I have consumed it by his hand.

“[S]eek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.”

~Jeremiah 27:5-6, 8; 29:7

How to bless God’s providence.

“Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God’s wrath but also for the sake of conscience.”

~Romans 13:1-5