abandoned to Christ.

Showing posts with label Child Training. Show all posts

Parenthood.

Biblical parenthood.

There is a difference.

The well-known phrase, "The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world" is an abbreviated version of the refrain in a poem written by William Ross Wallace (1819-1881) that honors motherhood; but above what God decreed.

The second to the last stanza reads like this,

Woman, how divine your mission

Here upon our natal sod!

Keep, oh, keep the young heart open

Always to the breath of God!

All true trophies of the ages

Are from mother-love impearled;

For the hand that rocks the cradle

Is the hand that rules the world.

A mother's love, acceptance, and discipline (or lack of all three) has an enormous impact on whether her children will learn between right and wrong. But she's neither the sole, nor sovereign influence on her children. How a father engages, or doesn't engage in his children's lives also plays a significant role on a child's demeanor. How a father treats his wife, teaches their children to respect or devalue women. How a father treats or speaks of those who have authority over him (father, church elder, employer, government officials, etc.) teaches children how to honor or deride their elders. How a mother speaks to or speaks about her husband, teaches their children to appreciate and respect authority, or feel entitled and dismiss them. Both the father's and mother's words as well as actions set the foundation for whether or not their children will be compelled to be lovers of self or lovers of God (Eph 6:4; Col 3:18-21).

Unless a child is being raised in a single-parent home, it isn't just the one hand (the mother's) that impacts the life of a child, future generations, and therefore the world. It's both the hands of the father's and the mother's, that ought to rock the cradle and seek to train up their children in the Way of the Lord Jesus Christ. If one hand (the mother's or the father's) is building up while the other is completely negligent, then surely they are building and tearing down their child's foundation at the same time. Because this is such a prevalent practice, it's no wonder we have so many confused children these days. Children who don't know why they feel alone, or even what gender they are. Teenagers that are trying to find someone who's not looking to be cool with them and be accepted by them, but someone who loves them enough to tell them the truth, even if it's truth they don't want to hear. Many young adults today, are so proud, that they prefer to "figure it out" themselves, rather than ask older and wiser adults to help them with their marriage, parenting, keeping their homes, finances, or...anything that really matters.

We expect this mass confusion and chaotic lifestyle to abide in this world, but it's disconcerting that this mass confusion and chaotic lifestyle is happening also within the body of believers...or at least professing believers.

In order to be the hands that heal the world rather than hurt it, those of us who repent of our sins and trust in Jesus, must endeavor to read, study, meditate on, and memorize God's Word. Only in God's Word is true wisdom for all of life found (Ps 19:7-10, 119:105). Only in God's Word is His good and perfect will revealed (Prov 3:5-8). Only by abiding in God's Word can we learn and remind one another to seek the things that are above (holiness, righteousness, justice), rather than the things here below (health, wealth, popularity).

When we learn and remind our hearts of what God says a family is and how a family ought to function, only then will peace, order, and joy reside in our homes. From the very beginning, God created the husband to be the humble, servant-leader of the home, and the wife to be the submissive, suitable help-meet for her husband. In this, the LORD established the fathers to determine the direction of the home: disciplined and self-sacrificing, or wayward and self-pleasing; humble servant-hood and honor, or detached dictatorship and disrespect. And the mother to determine the atmosphere, that is, the heart of the home: peaceful and orderly, or loud and chaotic; loving and safe, or critical and anxious.

The greatest blessing and gift both the mother and father can daily provide for their children is the Gospel of Jesus Christ—spoken and lived, lest they be found to be hypocrites in God's sight (Mk 7:6; 1 Jn 3:18). And the best way to model that is found in Ephesians 5:22-33 where the Lord clearly reveals marriage (between a man and a woman) to be the only earthly paradigm He uses for Christ's holy relationship with His Bride (all true believers).

The hand that works to hurt, is Satan's. The hand that works to heal, is Christ's. So choose wisely today, whom you will serve and display before your family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers. For ever person is either on Satan's errand, or the Lord's. No one can do both.

This is my second year of reading through God's awesome Word using Professor Grant Horner's 10 List Reading System. And I still LOVE it so much, words are not enough to express how much this reading plan has effected my life and continually increases my gratitude and love for my heavenly Father sacrificing His Son to save my soul; for the Son giving us His Holy Spirit to sanctify me, and seal me until the Day of Redemption. Hallelujah!

Every day is different. Some days I'm in awe of how all 10 chapters tell the same story. Others days I'm in awe of how all 10 chapters teach me the same lesson through very different circumstances. And some days, like today, I'm reminded of the awesome gift of knowing God Almighty and being adopted as one of His holy children through repentance and faith in Christ, His Son (Mk 1:15, 2 Cor 7:10).

Reading Ruth 3 and Isaiah 47 on the same day, I'm finding, is a very healthy heart exercise; spiritually and physically. When I read Ruth chapter three, my heart is warmed as I see Jesus, the Son of God, taking human form to make Himself my kinsman-redeemer. To do this, He disrobed Himself of His glory, and put on sackcloth and ashes (skin and bone). I am in awe of my Lord's great condescension.

When I move on to Isaiah chapter 47, I am reminded of what my sins have truly earned me—the wrath of God—eternal punishment in the lake of fire. I am reminded that before my Lord Jesus found me in my lost and depraved and utterly sinful state, I was counted as one of God's enemies. Terrifying! I wandered in my own direction, was a lover of self-pleasure rather than a lover of God and His righteousness. I sat in darkness, and blinded by my own sins, did not know it. Intoxicated by my own pride, I lived a destructive life and hadn't the slightest clue. Yet, in God's great mercy, before the foundation of the world, He chose me for Himself; not because of anything I had done or would do, but only because He set His love upon me.

The Lord of glory, made Himself nothing (Php 2:5-7), to make me what was impossible (except by the power of God), a daughter of the Most High. I can't grasp the enormity of that truth. I...am...a daughter...of the LORD of hosts. The King of kings, the Ancient of Days, God Almighty, the Alpha and Omega—is my Father. My mind is baffled and my heart is elated that I can actually make this claim and not be a blasphemer! It is difficult for my finite mind to fully grasp this infinite truth. Which is why my only response for all God has done for me in Christ Jesus—is to worship the King of glory.

"The earth is the LORD's and the fullness thereof,

the world and those who dwell therein,

for he has founded it upon the seas

and established it upon the rivers.

"Who shall ascend the hill of the LORD?

And who shall stand in his holy place?

He who has clean hands and a pure heart,

who does not lift up his soul to what is false

and does not swear deceitfully.

He will receive blessing from the LORD

and righteousness from the God of his salvation.

Such is the generation of those who seek him,

who seek the face of the God of Jacob.

"Lift up your heads, O gates!

And be lifted up, O ancient doors,

that the King of glory may come in.

Who is this King of glory?

the LORD, strong and mighty,

the LORD, mighty in battle!

Lift up your heads, O gates!

And lift them up, O ancient doors,

that the King of glory may come in.

Who is this King of glory?

The LORD of hosts,

he is the King of glory!"

~Psalm 24:1-10, ESV

The condensed version of, "I told you this would happen, but you wouldn't listen." is, "I told you so." It's been ingrained in me and I think, most, if not all of you, that saying "I told you so" is wrong. It's considered to be harsh, inconsiderate, unkind, jabbing; and therefore, the most unloving and graceless thing to say to anyone after they've neglected to heed wise counsel, and find themselves in an unsavory and often, painful situation.

"Call me crazy, but in the history of conversations, has the phrase 'I told you so' ever really generated a positive response? I'd say no, it has not...'I told you so' is a negative and counterproductive way of saying, 'I’m right and you’re wrong,' that does neither party any good. Even if the person in the wrong has been stubborn and refused constructive advice, that does not give another person the authority to rub their face in it...

"If you must say something, please do so the properly way. That is, be a friend and not a bully. Instead of saying, 'I told you so,' look to your sensibility and maturity for guidance. Try to offer a positive spin on the situation that will make your friend feel better."

-Richie Frieman, Modern Manners Guy

Though I agree with much of what Mr. Richie Frieman said, naturally, as a Christian, I must disagree with his assertion that we need to put a "positive spin on the situation" in order to merely "make your friend feel better." As a grateful recipient of God's grace and mercy—eternal life in Jesus Christ, I always love and desire to speak truth, rather than "spin" (that is, manipulate) my words or actions just to make someone feel good and thus, think well of me (proving I care more about myself than I actually care about them). By God's grace, I'm compelled to lovingly speak truth to usher God's eternal best for others; which is a far greater thing than merely making someone feel better for a moment.

Saying "I told you so" after someone has suffered the consequences of their foolishness, is usually a brazen "in your face" kind of statement people say in order to lord over another person's failings. And that's just flat out cruel. However, that doesn't mean we can, nor should assume that everyone who says "I told you so" is being cruel or arrogant. As a matter of fact, they may be saying it out of deep empathy, compassion, love and mercy for the person they're saying it to. Yes, I said mercy.

It may seem strange for you to reconsider that saying "I told you so" may perhaps not be the wrong, but rather, the right, good, and most helpful thing to say when someone is sitting in the miry pit of their indiscretions. So allow me to share a few real-life, biblical examples of where the person saying "I told you so" is genuinely being kind, merciful and encouraging (that is, instilling courage) into the person they're saying it to.

"And Reuben answered them, "Did I not tell you not to sin against the boy? But you did not listen. So now there comes a reckoning for his blood.

"And the LORD said to me, 'Say to them, Do not go up or fight, for I am not in your midst, lest you be defeated before your enemies.' So I spoke to you, and you would not listen; but you rebelled against the command of the LORD and presumptuously went up into the hill country. Then the Amorites who lived in that hill country came out against you and chased you as bees do and beat you down in Seir as far as Hormah.

"Jesus said to her, 'Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?'

"saying, 'Sirs, I perceive that the voyage will be with injury and much loss, not only of the cargo and the ship, but also of our lives.' But the centurion paid more attention to the pilot and to the owner of the ship than to what Paul said...Since they had been without food for a long time, Paul stood up among them and said, 'Men, you should have listened to me and not have set sail from Crete and incurred this injury and loss. Yet now I urge to take heart, for there will be no loss of life among you, but only of the ship...Paul said to the centurion and the soldiers, 'Unless these men stay in the ship, you cannot be saved.' Then the soldiers cut away the ropes of the ship's boat and let it go."

-Genesis 42:22; Deuteronomy 1:42-44; John 11:40;

Acts 27:10-11, 21, 31-32 (ESV, emphasis mine)

In all these incidences, whether it was Reuben, Moses, the Lord Jesus Christ, or the Apostle Paul telling the hearers, "I told you so" was said not to lord it over them, but in order to mercifully and lovingly remind the hearers of the painful calamities that happened the first time they didn't heed wise counsel. In such cases, "I told you so" was said not to injure the one being told, but in order to shield them from repeating the same foolishness; and thereby, be spared the same pain or worse, due to their rebellious heart.

"Afterward Jesus found him in the temple and said to him, 'See, you are well! Sin no more, that nothing worse may happen to you.' "

-John 5:14, ESV

This is not to say that hardships only come upon us because we sin (we know this because of John 9:3), but in the above verse (John 5:14) we see clearly that Jesus confirms what God reveals throughout the Old and New Testaments: sin devastates, divides and decays our relationships, our jobs—our lives. And in the case of this man that Jesus healed at Bethesda, according to Christ, this man's 38 years of being an invalid was the direct effect of his sin. Which is why we can readily conclude that Jesus' strong admonition wasn't "kicking someone when their down" but it was a merciful reminder of the destructive and painful consequences of sin.

Therefore, though it's most widely understood that saying "I told you so" is unkind and unloving, we see here, that once again, the heart in which we do or say things (Ps 141:3-5, Mt 15:18-19) should alone be the determining factor of whether or not it was loving or unloving, kind or unkind.

Being a mom, and especially a Christian mom, is hard. It's what I call, hard heart-work. God builds a special bond between a mother and each of her children. There's something inexplicably wonderful about the life that proceeds from a mother's womb. Which is why abortion is such a horrible and wicked thing to encourage women to do—to strip herself of the beautiful life God graciously gave her in spite of what sins she may have committed, or what sins may have been committed against her.

Every child is an unmerited gift from God.

Therefore, in view of God's mercy, we offer ourselves as living sacrifices, holy and acceptable to God, which is our spiritual worship. This command extends to motherhood also. Which means, rather than mothering our children in order to please and seek love for self, we care for our children in order to please and love God and our children sacrificially, and not just when it's easy, fun and dignified. It means we must love God and our children even when it's hard, painful and humiliating. And those three words often sum up the other side of motherhood that many of us neither want to think about or talk about. But we must.

Motherhood is a beautiful thing. It's filled with incalculable joys and fears from the moment you realize God has graced you with the ability to bring forth life.

I remember my first pregnancy; amazed that there was another human being inside of me; that God was secretly forming every part of him: visible (his body and personality) and invisible (his soul). My son was safely tucked in my womb, hidden from view and harm. And it was my job to keep it that way—to love and protect my child—to do him good and not harm all the days of his life—to train him in the love and discipline of the Lord (Eph 6:4). And it's still my job because a mother doesn't stop laboring for her children when she gives birth. A mother stops laboring for her children when either she or they, die their first death.

Sometimes a mother's labor results in great joy and sometimes it results in great pain. A mother has great joy when she gets to see the physical fruit of her labor—a living being from her womb; and when she gets to see the spiritual fruit of her labor—the life of her child secured in Christ. Along with these joys come the arduous, daily heart-work of keeping your child healthy, clean, fed, clothed, warm, safe and especially, Christ-honoring. A mother who fears the LORD, joyfully and willingly sacrifices her own comforts for her child's comforts. She would happily give up her food and go hungry, rather than see her child go hungry. She would cheerfully give up her sweater or coat and be cold, rather than see her child shiver. She would generously give up all her strength and be weak, rather than see her child hurting; and she would, without hesitation, joyfully give up her own life, rather than take the life of her child. A mother who fears the LORD, sacrifices everything, whether great or small, for her child's benefit, without consideration for her own. That's the way God made us. And that's what Jesus exampled for us when He disrobed Himself of His glory, left Heaven, and came to earth—to suffer, to die, and to rise from the grave, to grant eternal life, to all who repent and believe.

Being a mother isn't about fulfilling our already overweening egos. It's not about living our unfulfilled dreams and hopes through our children. It's not our second chance at life. It's our children's first chance to live the life God planned for them. Our children's lives are not about filling voids, trapping men, or something to be discarded because they're inconveniencing us somehow. Our children's lives are gifts from the Lord in spite of our sins, our frailties and ineptness; to properly love and care for another human being.

Being a mother who fears the Lord requires the willingness to suffer well and long for our children's best. It means being willing to tell your children hard truths about themselves, even if that means they won't like you...or even hate and totally reject you. It means daily feeding them the Gospel of Jesus Christ, reminding them that we're all sinners in desperate need of the one and only Savior. It means genuinely sharing your sins (age appropriate) so that they may learn and not fall into the same temptations. It means humbly asking them for forgiveness when you've sinned against them. It means living what you say you believe about Jesus; that He is sovereign, good, and perfect. Therefore, you're entire being, your thoughts, opinions, and conduct is based on what's found in the holy Word of God and not what's found in our defiled, self-absorbed world, or selves.

My hardest heart-work of being a mother has never been in the physical realm. It's always been the spiritual battles I've fought and continue to fight for and with my children, on my knees, and in my face-to-face conversations with them. I've always told my children that they can count on me to help them with anything...except sin. And I continue to remind them that I will stand against them, if necessary, with all the strength God provides, to give them what is good and not evil. It's extremely painful to watch my children sin (the same or differently than me), and this pain often causes me to want to crawl into a hole and just cry, but I don't...crawl into a hole. Rather, I follow my Savior and do what He did when He was here. I go to a lonely place (Lk 5:16) and I cry and talk to God Almighty (Ps 40:1-4, 16-17) instead of crying and talking to myself in the hole of self-pity.

I'd love to tell you that training up your children in the way of the Lord is easy and filled with stories of all the "great and amazing things God is doing" in their lives. I'd love to tell you that if you raise your children in the love and discipline of the Lord, they will love, honor and appreciate you. But I can't tell you any of these things because it's not true. Proverbs 22:6 is a precept for parents to obey, not a promise of absolute results.

We have two sons, 22 and 20. We raised them both in the love and discipline of the Lord Jesus Christ. We imperfectly lived out our faith before them; repenting to God and to our children whenever we sinned (which for me, was and still is, more often than I'd like). We always showed them how every rule for our family could be found in God's Word so that they would know that it is by the Lord's Word and standard, and not by our word and standard that our family is established and maintained.

With all our hearts, we loved and obeyed God's mandate to parents in Deuteronomy 6:5-9. Though I'm a night owl rather than a morning person, I willingly died to my natural inclinations, for how God created my children...to rise early (Php 2:3-4). During the first 18 years of my children's lives, I would wake up one and a half to two hours earlier than my children in order to have my personal praise and quiet time with the Lord, prepare a hot breakfast for our boys, and do our daily breakfast devotional. Between the ages of four and five, I taught them how to have their own praise and quiet time with the Lord; training them to wake up an hour before school so that they would have ample time for private and family worship.

When they were school-aged, we'd continue our talk about the Lord on the way to school, when I picked them up and as we did homework and played together. We'd pray and discuss the Lord at dinner, and during our "family time". When we took them to bed, we'd snuggle them (through age 13), prayed with them, then scratched their backs and massaged their heads as we sang any three songs they chose, to worship and praise our God together.

We literally have God's Word on our walls, on our furniture and everywhere you turn in our home. We purchased our children pocket Bibles so they would have God's Word with them wherever they go. I made them bookmarks with Scriptures to help them through trials and remind them of how to humbly receive praise. I made them lunch every day and included a simple note that reminded them of God's love, sovereignty and goodness in their lives. Since we felt led to public school our sons (I wouldn't recommend this to everyone, I recommend homeschooling), I practically lived at their schools, volunteering for everything I could: art assistant, music assistant, homeroom mom, office assistant, library assistant, chaperone, etc. I basically attended school with my children and walked or drove home with them when we were done. On the way home, I would ask them about how they witnessed God's goodness throughout their day.

Our sons were raised in sound doctrine and knowing how to interpret Scripture with Scripture rather than by their emotions or worldly philosophies. We purchased them reference Bibles by the time they both reached the third grade and taught them what the little numbers and letters next to verses and words meant and how to use the concordance in the back. We purchased a Holman Bible Atlas and taught them the timeline of events in the Bible as well as go over the maps so they could see the locations and distances of where people lived, how they traveled, and how far they traveled to obey God.

We purchased the Basic Training Course so that as a family, we might learn how to biblically and effectively share the true Gospel of God's grace rather than the prevalent, man-centered false gospel. We took the course together when our sons were 9 and 11, and we did all the activities together so that we might labor in the Lord's harvest field as a family. When they turned 12, we purchased Student Study Bibles (I recommend the ESV, it's excellent) so they could learn to study God's Word for themselves, with helpful resources and notes that were applicable for their life stage. There's much more that we did and still do with our oldest son who's still home with us, but I'll stop here because I think you get the point: my husband and I, with all our hearts, poured into our children, the love of God and the holy Word as best as we could.

I don't share any of this so you'll think highly of us. Rather, I share this with you to demonstrate that though you too may love and obey God's command in Deuteronomy 6:5-9, it's not to your glory if your children grow into Christ-honoring adults, nor your complete blame (if at all) if they grow into Christ-mocking adults. As I shared earlier, we have two sons, 22 and 20. Our youngest is our prodigal and left home at 19 to live his life as he pleased and not as God pleased. Our oldest is still with us while working to receive his graduate degree in Accounting. But that doesn't mean our oldest son is perfect and never brings us heartache like our youngest son does. It just means that though they were both raised in the love and discipline of our Lord, they walk divergent paths. We love them both dearly (for how can a mother lack compassion for a son from her womb?) and fervently pray for both of them to walk in a manner that's worthy of the Lord Jesus Christ (Col 1:9-12).

Though sometimes Christ-honoring parents are blessed to raise Christ-honoring children, some of us are blessed to continue our labor for our children's eternal souls until the day one of us dies. And sometimes those who aren't Christ-honoring parents, produce Christ-honoring children (e.g., Madalyn Murray O'Hair, the famous atheist, who's oldest son William "Bill" became a Christian because of God's sovereign choosing and the faithful labor of others). This is why we can't take credit or full blame for how our children choose to live. God is sovereign and all knowing and all wise. We are not.

While the rejection of our youngest son continues to pain us, the greatest heartache isn't that he isn't reconciled to us, but that he's not reconciled to God Almighty. My heart grieves every time either of our sons sin and succumbs to ways of the world (what's cool and popular) over the holy ways of God that are good and right. But their lives are not mine to hold, rather their lives are mine to entrust to the LORD who alone is faithful (2 Tim 2:13).

Whatever stage you're currently in with your mothering, please know, there's nothing wrong with desiring godly children whose lives are eternally secured in Christ. This is the most loving thing a mother can desire for her children. And we should certainly labor for that. But it's a sin to allow this good desire to be the hope and reason why you train them up in the love and discipline of the Lord—because it becomes an idol. The only reason why we should or shouldn't do anything, is for the pleasure, honor and glory of God. If your heart's sole purpose in training your children as God commands is because you love Him first and foremost, then your hard heart-work will not be in vain. You will not be prone to pride if your children walk with the Lord, nor will you be crushed if they don't. No matter the results, you will remain steadfast in hope, persevere in your labor for your children without bitterness, be patient in tribulation, fervent in prayer, bless them if they persecute you, rejoice with them in righteousness, and live peaceably with them as much as it is up to you (Rom 12:9-21).

Tomorrow, we'll celebrate another Mother's Day. For some, it'll be a day in which we have the opportunity to honor our mothers who love the Lord and taught us to do the same. For others, it'll be a day when we miss our mothers who are no longer with us, but have entered eternity with Christ, or grievously, without Christ. And for others, this Mother's Day will be a day where we're tempted to send cards filled with untruthful, feel-good sentiments and share posts on social media that describe a godly mother we never had/have. Regardless of what kind of mother we had/have, we're called by God to love and honor her...biblically (read: Celebrating A Different Kind of Mother to find out how to practically obey this biblical mandate).

Some, like me and my husband, were raised by mothers who worked hard to put a roof over our heads and food on the table. But sadly, neither are/were believers (my mother-in-law entered eternity without Christ🥺) However, we're still grateful to the Lord for choosing these mothers for us because it was right and fitting in His sight to do so...even though they brought us much pain and heartache. Pain and heartache are not altogether evil, especially if they draw us nearer and dearer to the Lord Jesus—where we belong (Ps 119:67-68).

Therefore, every birthday and Mother's Day, my husband and I have to choose to either flatter our mothers with cards and sentiments filled with lies, ruminating about the kind of mother they never were then, or are now; or we can lovingly share what is true—that we love them with all our hearts and earnestly pray for their reconciliation with our God and Father through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. We've chosen to do the latter because speaking the truth in love is what's most loving and honoring to the Lord, and most loving and honoring to our mothers; regardless of the results (Gal 1:10). After all, it is not honoring to any parent to have a child who lies (Prov 26:28)?

With all the diverse upbringings, Mother's Day can be filled with delight, or filled with strong temptations to look like everyone else and boast that we have godly, loving, and encouraging mothers; even if we don't. We can compare our gifts with others and give extravagantly only to outdo our friends, or we can give heartfelt gifts; which honor the Lord, therefore, honors our mothers (2 Cor 9:7).

This day is also filled with temptations to pretend we were, or are presently, the godly mothers we never were then, or are now. Whether we are, or are not the mother's the Lord commands us to be, many delight and seek to be honored, exalted, and well-spoken of. But I don't...anymore. As I've grown in my love and gratitude for what my Father has done for me in Christ Jesus, I've become more aware of the wickedness within me. And I no longer delight in feign words of adulation, undue praise, nor being exalted. My greatest joy for my children is to see them walk with the Lord (3 John 1:4), in the light of God's truth, in every aspect of their lives (Jn 3:21).

It's not that it's wrong for my children or any child to honor and give praise to mothers who have (but not perfectly) trained and diligently pursued to be a Proverbs 31:10-31, Ephesians 5:22-24, 1 Timothy 2:9-13, Titus 2:3-5 and 1 Peter 3:1-6 woman. But it is better that Christ be exalted and honored on this day or any day. I prefer for my children to always lift up the name of Jesus, and praise Him continuously because He alone can give them eternal life. I can't. And He alone can love them perfectly. I can't do that either. But I can choose to faithfully point my sons to Jesus rather than to myself, so that they may bask in the grace and mercy of God my Savior.

As we celebrate Mother's Day, let us celebrate it like we should celebrate every day—as a gracious and kind gift from God Almighty. Celebrate it as another day to worship the Lord Jesus in the splendor of holiness. Choose to use this day as another opportunity to talk about how awesome God is rather than talk about or listen to how awesome you are, because you aren't...and neither am I. God alone is awesome because God alone inspires an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration and fear. We do not.

Us mothers may be kind, we may be wise, we may even be godly, but we are not awesome. That attribute is given to and reserved for the one and only true God; so let's give Him His due praise, rather than try to receive it ourselves or wrongly extend it to others. And let us teach our children to speak truthfully about us, rather than allow them to speak of godly characteristics we do not presently possess, but should aspire to acquire one day, through daily dying to self and abiding richly in the Word of God—that is, Christ Jesus the Lord (Col 3:16).

"Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie!...But may all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; may those who love Your salvation say continually, 'Great is the LORD!'...What shall I render to the LORD for all His benefits to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the LORD, I will pay my vows to the LORD in the presence of all His people."

~Psalm 40:4, 16; 116:12-14 (ESV)

On March 26, 2015, a monumental act was signed in the beautiful and picturesque state of Indiana. Since the signing of this act, ugly and false accusations have been hurled at Governor Mike Pence by the bullies of the LGBTQIA. I know in the news, you'll only see the acronym LGBT used, but it's not accurate since all hands are on deck when it comes to trying to ring the neck of Governor Mike Pence and anyone else who stands with him.

Before I continue, I want to clarify that I'm sure not everyone who is a lesbian, gay, transgender, etc. person, is part of this monstrous faction of LGBTQIA who, like bullies, purposely target and threaten those who are not like them. I'm sure there must be some who are a part of the LGBTQIA community who despise this hypocrisy, and truly aspire to allow all people to peaceably live as they choose, rather than impose their lifestyle choice on others.

If you're not familiar with the acronyms, I'll give you a quick update. LGBT stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender. However, many who've chosen this lifestyle (yes, it's a lifestyle choice, not a biological race) feel LGBT isn't as accurate as it needs to be, and I agree. So the new acronym is LGBTQIA which stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer (or Questioning), Intersex (neither distinctively male nor female in physical appearance) and Ally (those not part of the LGBTQIA community, but are friends of the cause) or Asexual (someone who's void of sexual attraction).

It is the LGBTQIAs like the CEO of Angie's List, Bill Oesterle (an ally) who has banned with others to destroy everything our great country was founded on: Freedom. Freedom of speech, freedom to practice religion outside of government rule, freedom to live as God has ordained without immoral and questionable choices of man forced upon them. Freedom to protect ourselves and our right to live as civil people, one nation, under God, indivisible; thus, we are the United States of America. But perhaps we won't be much longer if those who know better sit idly by while this faction of the LGBTQIA strips every American of their freedom, and forces their agenda and their lifestyle choices on every citizen.

This is not love, tolerance or inclusiveness. This is tyranny. This is bullying. Once any individual forces their personal life choices upon another human being, you are no longer acting in love, nor tolerant of the life choices of others, nor inclusive of their beliefs. But you are now being an arrogant, hateful, intolerant and exclusive group of people who demand and impose your lifestyle choice on others.

There are more secular businesses (i.e., bakeries, tailors, sandwich shops, etc.) than religiously owned and operated businesses. But there's a faction of bullies in the LGBTQIA who target Christian businesses to try to force them to submit to their ways.

The act that disturbed the nest of the LGBTQIA Leviathan and all its comrades is called the the Religious Freedom Restoration Act. Please read it for yourself rather than listen to and be frightened by the fiery bellows of those who participate in this faction. This act neither endangers the lifestyle nor promotes discrimination of anyone in the LGBTQIA community. Rather, it protects innocent people of all religions (whether Christians, Jews, Muslims, etc.) from being sued and forced to comply with those who disagree with their religious views and practices.

What that means is, if someone who's part of a white supremacists group shows up at a t-shirt shop owned and operated by a black person, that owner of the t-shirt shop is protected and can't be sued just because he/she won't make t-shirts that say "I Love the KKK". Likewise, it would protect a Muslim restaurant owner from being forced to serve pork, or a Jewish business owner from having to offer anything that's not kosher. This isn't a Christian law, it's an American law that protects the freedom and rights of all its citizens to practice their religion without fear of retribution. This is America folks.

Christians, let's stand up and let our voices be heard. After all, are we not commanded by God our Father to do justice, love kindness and walk humbly with our God (Micah 6:8)? So let us protect those (e.g., Governor Mike Pence) who are being unjustly accused and abused with insults just because they want to keep our country free from any kind of tyranny.

My darling husband is writing to Bill Oesterle, CEO of Angie's List, to tell him why we're canceling our subscription with them. And I encourage all of you to do the same. Let our voices be heard where Mr. Oesterle can hear them...from the emptiness of his bank vault.

While we understand that during our short stay here on earth, we have to do business with and lovingly live and work alongside unbelievers, we can't partner with those who promote and fight for unjust causes. Causes that punish people, whether Christian, Muslim, Jew, or people from any other religion to lose their livelihood or to have it jeopardized because of bullies who demand every citizen to participate in their lifestyle choices. This is not America folks. This is tyranny—plain and simple.

We know the world needs the Gospel of the grace of God (Acts 20:24). And no transformation of hearts or minds can be made without the new life in Christ. Therefore, let us diligently share the Gospel and lift our voices to protect the God-given freedoms of all men and women. Let us not sit idly by while states are boycotting states. The world is watching. And we all know—united we stand, divided we fall.

Let us be the bond of peace and the voice of reason in this great country the Lord our God put us in, no matter the cost, for just a time as this.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

~Hebrews 12:1-2 (ESV)

I know I don't mean to do it as often as I do. And I'm sure no one else does (or, at least I hope not). But we all do it more than we should, and even once is more than enough. What is it? It, is our tendency to palliate, that is, lessen the severity of, without remedying—our sins and the sins of others—particularly those who sin similarly to us. And if we happen to like them, their sins aren't as bad as others, or even worse, we choose to be blind to their sins altogether.

This is truly a grievous activity.

How do we do it? Well, I'm not going to presume upon how others might do it, but I sure know how I do it. And it's often subtle because it's cloaked in the worldly definition of love. The love that says, "I'm okay, you're okay" therefore never does or says anything that might make you dislike or reject me. So, when I see you sin, and especially if it's a sin similar to mine, I might say something like, "Oh, well...none of us are perfect." Or if I want to throw a dash of false humility in this brew of sin I'm concocting, I might even add, "After all, I've done (or am doing) the same thing."

Now, there's absolutely nothing wrong with admitting a sin and making a connection with whomever I'm speaking with. What's wrong is that I stop there. I don't do what I know I is right (James 4:17) and therefore, I sin...again.

If I'm truly living Ephesians 4:29 and cared more about the Lord and your relationship with Him (than I care about your relationship with me), I wouldn't stop after I confessed committing the same sin. After noting this mutual weakness in the flesh, I would say, "We both need to repent and be grateful for God's forgiveness in Christ Jesus. And if we're truly grateful for His grace, we'll both commit to write God's Word on our hearts concerning this matter so we don't keep sinning against Him. Will you keep me accountable?" Then I would immediately begin looking up Scriptures to strengthen us so we might not sin like this again. Moreover, I would pray that the Lord would write His Word on our hearts (Ps 119:10-11, 24).

If I truly love the LORD my God, I will love what He loves and hate what He hates. If I truly love Jesus, though I may never be sinless on this side of Heaven, I will aspire not be a repeat offender of the same crime.

So, if you ever catch me involved in this sinful activity of palliating my sin and yours, please rebuke me. Please remind me that this wicked attempt to make us both more comfortable about our sins is what caused our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to leave His heavenly throne, descend into His own creation, be abused and crucified, and rise on the third day, so we might escape the wrath of God and receive forgiveness for our sins and inherit eternal life.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to live in the putrid cesspool of my sins. I want to live in the glorious new life Jesus died to give me—the life of a daughter of the Most High God, washed clean, and dressed in the robe of Christ's righteousness.

"The LORD is my portion; I promise to keep [treasure] Your words. I entreat Your favor with all my heart; be gracious to me according to Your promise. When I think on my ways, I turn my feet to Your testimonies; I hasten and do not delay to keep [protect] Your commandments."

~Psalm 119:57-60 (ESV)

When we were little children, the first time we received a lollipop or a shiny sticker from our doctor, we were overjoyed and grateful. The second time, we were again excited about trying a new lollipop flavor and the new sticker we could get. Perhaps this time, it would be a scratch and sniff! But the third time, we begin to grow weary with the same old lollipop and sticker choices. So we snuff our noses as we walk by the lollipops and stickers and brighten our eyes to the new, bigger and better prize we have earned! Yep. Earned.

As cute and cuddly as we are when we're little, we're still sinners waiting to tell the world what our demands are and by golly, they better deliver. We start first with our parents. Much like our doctor's visits, we act as if our parents owe us something. For what? Our mother's owe us because she carried us for nine months, fed us, sacrificed her figure and health and some of them, their lives? Our mother's labor for us from the day she conceives until the day one of us dies, and for this, she owes us....what?

Our father's work tirelessly and sacrificially to provide a roof over our heads, food in our bellies and clothes to cover and warm our bodies. And if we're blessed with parents who love the Lord Jesus, then they spend hours reading and studying the Bible themselves and teaching and training us in the love and admonition of the Lord. Christian parents pour out their whole hearts and lives to their children so that they may know Christ and be known by Him.

Additionally, we think our children owe us something because we're doing just as God has commanded? They are God's gifts to us, to draw us nearer to Him; to remind us we can't do anything ourselves (even take care of a helpless infant). Our children humble us and bring us to our knees. And for this, we ought to continually give thanks to the Lord.

Sadly, this uncomely cycle of self-adulation and entitlement extends to our adulthood.

Even as adults, when we first meet a new friend and they share a kindness with us, whether in word or deed (or both), we are very touched and extremely grateful. We're so moved by their kindness, we want to tell our spouse, our children, and everyone on social media. But after this person does something kind a second or third time, we're no longer filled with the same gratitude we first had, rather—we expect it.

Why does this happen? Why does familiarity breed ingratitude and if not dealt with, lead to contempt?

Pride. Entitlement. Ingratitude. Contempt. That's how.

Ever since Adam and Eve committed the first sin in the Garden (believing they could be like God), all humanity has been cursed with insatiable pride that tells us we are owed everything good and nothing bad. This makes us feel entitled, which leads to ingratitude and when we don't recognize and repent of this, we become contemptuous, impatient and unkind to others.

How we see ourselves and those around us, greatly affects our relationship with God. If we can be so prideful, feel so entitled, be so ungrateful and contemptuous towards those we can see, how much more do we behave the exact same way towards God whom we can't see (1 John 4:20)?

We think too much of our own "good" deeds and too little of others. And sadly, sometimes the "good" we think we're doing isn't really a blessing to others, but rather, a burden. It may surprise us to discover, when we get to Heaven, that the time we think we spent blessing someone, was actually, the other way around. It was a sacrifice and unpleasant experience for them to be with us, therefore, a great blessing to us, rather than to them. And we missed it.

We're left in this sad and destructive state as long as we don't repent and remember what Christ did for us on the Cross at Calvary. As much "good" we think we do, we don't and can't do it unless God works it through us (Eph 2:10). Unless God gives us the seed to sow, unless God blesses us with anything to give whether in word or in deed, we have nothing but evil to give anyone (1 Cor 4:7).

The truth is, we owe God everything; and therefore, are indebted to generously love others well because God first gave generously and loved us well.

What we give to the Lord and to others is so minuscule compared to what has been given to us by our Father through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Let us never assume we're so familiar with others and with God that we feel as if they owe us every good and no evil. And let us always be surprised and grateful for any act of kindness that comes our way. After all, we probably don't even realize the great sacrifice some people make in order to give us a widow's mite.

The next time you sense yourself feeling slighted or indignant about a kindness that wasn't given to you that you assuredly knew you deserved, look to the Cross. No true Christian can fix their eyes on Jesus' costly sacrifice and then turn to see themselves as anything more than an utterly humbled and grateful servant who feels as they should—unworthy of the price that had to be paid to set them free.

I have often been asked, "How do I handle situations when professing brothers or sisters in Christ are offended when I use the Word of God often in conversations, or for reproof, or for the reason why I do or do not participate in certain things?" I promised my friends, readers and "followers" on social media that I'd share a more detailed response than the short and quick one I shared on my Facebook ministry page a few days ago. So here it is.

Before "handling" this situation, you'll have to first assess who you're speaking with: a possible false convert, or one who possibly does belong to Christ, but are presently burdened by their pride. The reason why I say this is because no true child of God abiding in the love of God is offended or put off in any way by the use of God's Word...unless they're being prideful. All Christians love God's Word and are only strengthened and encouraged by it whenever spoken, used or applied. It is a balm of blessing to our spirit and a sore spot to our fleshly pride. Thanks be to God for both!

"For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God."

~John 3:20-21 (ESV)

Distinguishing Marks of A False Convert

A person who is falsely converted may have made a profession of faith in Christ, but there isn't clear evidence there is any possession of the Holy Spirit's sanctifying work displayed in their lives (Js 2:14, 18-19, 26). Additionally, there is no continual practice of repentance (Mt 3:7-8), there is no grief for sins but rather the desire to conceal and continue in them (1 Jn 3:4-7), there is no evidence of reverent fear of God's holiness and regard for His righteousness (Ps 25:14, 36:1-3); and last but not least, there is no demonstration of love for God and others over love for self (Mt 22:37, 1 Thess 4:1).

Distinguishing Marks of a True Believer in Christ

A person who has truly been regenerated by the Holy Spirit through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, will love God and the things of God more than self. As Burk Parsons once said, "You can tell your faith is real if when the Holy Spirit pricks your conscience you bleed repentance." And often this conscience pricking by the Holy Spirit is through God's Word, whether read by yourself or spoken and shared by others.

I recall a time (between the ages of 17-20) when there was no outward appearance that I was truly saved. I lived a very carnal life that I would consider was worse than many unbelievers I knew at the time. But inwardly, there was a raging war within me (Rom 7:15, 22-23)—my old sin nature and the Spirit of Christ within me. Though outwardly it looked as if I enjoyed this sin-infested life I was living, inwardly I despised it.

So when God sent a precious sister in Christ (someone I hardly knew) to rebuke me with the Word of God (Prov 27:5-6), I wept bitterly and decided then that she was someone I really needed to befriend. Unfortunately, she didn't feel the same way, as she was quite disgusted by my iniquitous living. Though this saddened me, I understood, and was grateful for her godly rebuke because I was obviously in great need of it.

"Let a righteous man [or woman] strike me—it is a kindness; let him [or her] rebuke me—it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it."

~Psalm 141:5a (ESV)

Of course, none of us can see another persons heart (we can't often know our own; see Jer 17:9-10), but Jesus did qualify and command us to be wise fruit inspectors (Mt 7:14-20; 15:18-19) so that we may make the best us of our time here on earth (Eph 5:15-17).

One of the most unloving things we can do, is affirm the salvation of someone who's living in blatant rebellion to God and His Word. Conversely, the most loving thing we can do, is urge them to test their salvation (2 Cor 13:5) with the Word of God and not by the testimony of others.

If we truly love the Lord Jesus and care about those He came to save, we will be more concerned about a person's spiritual state than about offending them, or being offended or rejected by them. In this, we will desire to be better listeners, be more prayerful, and point the hearer to Christ (rather than ourselves and our opinions) whether they are saved or unsaved.

Share God's Word and obey God's Word not for the results (that everyone will agree with you or like you), but for the sole purpose that God is well pleased (Gal 1:10, 2:20). And to happily live in obedience to 2 Peter 4:10-11. But before you share any Scripture with others, test your own heart's motive with His Word first to ensure you're not doing this out of spite or to make/prove your own point (Ps 19:14, 139:23-24). After all, who are we that our thoughts and opinions should be valued and heard? It is God's Word and His precepts alone that are deserving and worthy of being heard and immediately heeded.

Therefore, make sure you handle the Sword of the Spirit as a skilled soldier and not as an immature and self-aggrandizing toddler.

Father's Day is often a time when we celebrate and honor the life of the man who made the greatest difference in our lives. Some for good, and some for bad. Just the same, God gave fathers the greatest responsibility for leading their families.

In an ideal world, that would mean every father would love the LORD God with all their hearts and with all their soul and with all their mind and with all their strength; and love others better than themselves. But since we live in a fallen world wrecked with sin, this is not the kind of father we all had, or presently have.

Some of us have fathers who either don't know the LORD at all, or profess to know the LORD but their profession is all there is. Some of us weren't raised by Christian father's whose greatest desire was to see their children walking in the Way of the Lord Jesus, who sacrificed his comforts for his family and others, and who lived to love others better than he was ever loved by them.

Christ-honoring fathers are the kinds of fathers that are easy to celebrate and honor every day of our lives. But what if we don't have this kind of father? Are we to slap on a plastic face and lavish our fathers with flattery and speak of them in a way we wished for them to be, but they never were? Are we too ashamed to admit our father's didn't raise us in the loving instruction and discipline of the Lord both in word and deed? And then, rather than remain silent, or speak the truth we can, we lie to them and others in order to join in on this celebration?

And what about wives? Should wives give false praise to husbands whose character doesn't exude the life of Christ? Should we decorate our husbands with accolades that really don't speak to their godly character?

Rather than seem like ungrateful and ungodly children and wives, we spit shine our false image of our fathers and husbands so we can pretend they are the people they really aren't. Us mothers do our children a great disservice when we lie about our husband's non-existent godly behaviors. We need to teach our children how to appreciate what's really there, rather than condone our already saturated world of lies.

So this year, resolve not to purchase your fathers or husbands cards that talk about what fantastically godly men they are if they're not; lest they believe your lies and never aspire to be such. Rather, purchase them cards that honestly speak of your love and prayers for them. If you can't find one, then make one. Truth is always better than fiction.

Neither profaning nor falsely glorifying ungodly fathers and husbands is good. They are both sinful behaviors many participate in, only to preserve their own image of godliness. But there is no sin in godliness; only truth and light.

So how do we celebrate and honor men who are not worthy of honor and celebration? We honor them by being honest, and loving them in truth. Rather than lavish them with false thanks and accolades before friends, family and social media, we ought to thank them for what we truly can and pray for them to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ (see Celebrating a Different Kind of Mother) .Only through our genuine display of love and prayers can they actually lead their families in the Way of the Lord Jesus in word and deed.

I am grateful to the Lord for my unbelieving earthly father God chose for me. Though many terrible and painful things happened because of this, I am blessed by the countless lessons I've learned about what true, godly love is, and what it isn't.

I am grateful to the Lord for my believing husband who has fathered our sons in the loving instruction and discipline of the Lord. Not having had a godly example, my darling husband has had many bumps in the road (just as I have as a mother). So I don't flatter him to overcome his failings, but I do honor and celebrate his humble heart that's sensitive to the Holy Spirit's call to repentance. My darling husband faithfully strives for holiness by reading and studying God's Word daily and honestly confessing his sins to me and our sons (Jn 3:21); teaching us not to follow him in sin, but to follow him in the ways of the Lord. My husband's heart is much like King David's—stumbles in sin, but quick to repent.

If you're reading this now and feel a bit discouraged because you neither have a father nor a husband who is worthy to be praised, then remember this: if you repent and trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, then you have the best, most loving and perfect Father—your Father in Heaven! And there is not one thing our heavenly Father does or says that is not worthy of praise. Even if we praised the LORD for all His goodness to us with every breath we take from here and throughout eternity, it would never match the praise He is due.

"You have multiplied, O LORD my God, Your wondrous deeds and Your thoughts toward us; none can compare with You! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told."

~Psalm 40:5 (ESV)

The joys of parenting begin when the news first hits our ears...we're going to have a baby! Then we get to revel in all the shopping of baby items, planning of baby showers and dreaming of all that we'll do with our precious little gift from God. We savor every moment we get to sing to our child in the womb and read the Words of God to him or her every day. Then we're elated when the grand and long awaited day arrives and we get to hold our little bundle of joy in our arms; smell his/her fresh babyness, and delight in the wonders of holding a new life!

The parenting joys continue as we watch our sweet child experiment with sounds and begin to coo and smile, laugh, roll and play. We're just as eager and excited as they are when they learn to crawl and walk...until we realize a fully independent mobile child is often a full independent accident waiting to happen. Then we have nightmares that they've ingested poison, or a toy, put a fork in a socket, or climbed too high on a piece of furniture with only a hard floor to break their fall...or a bone.

As they get older, while we have mountains of joy spending time with them at family breakfast devotionals, midday chats about how the Lord has worked in their lives, family prayer times and times of playing games, watching movies and snuggling. And we experience many woes in between those moments of bliss we wish would never end. But they must.

If every experience we had in life were nothing but one jovial moment after another, we'd remain immature children with no idea of responsibility nor would we ever learn the natural and sometimes painful consequences of the choices we make in life. Without the sorrows of life, we'd never truly grasp the glory of the joys.

Though the woes of parenting are painful and sometimes make you feel like you just got the wind knocked out of you, they are necessary and can be trusted in the hands of our sovereign, good and loving God. They are necessary because there is no human being, save Christ, whose lived, living or will ever live that doesn't suffer from enormous amounts of pride. And if we never felt like a failure as a parent or repented of anything we've ever said or done while raising our children, then due to our immense pride, we're likely to take all the credit for how well our children turned out or the full blame for how not-so-well they turned out.

Neither extreme is healthy. And neither are true.

Whether we're the perfect parent (which no one is) or the parent who exposed and condoned heinous sins to our children i.e., pornography, abortion, same-sex or transgender lifestyles, etc. (which some have); we can neither claim full credit nor full blame for every decision our children make. Our children are not robots or computer programs where we can simply input data or write a code and expect the same results others get who inputted or coded a similar way.

Our children are living human beings, created by our awesome Father God. We all have natural proclivities to certain sins as well as gifts and talents to bless others.

Parenting isn't for wimps, the selfish, militant nor manipulative person who simply have children to gratify their already overweening egos. That's not parenting, that's propagating your own agenda much like Hitler who brainwashed, manipulated and militantly misled people to follow his ideal world; which included squashing the ideas and lives of others who didn't agree or fit into his utopia.

By God's immense grace He allows us to procreate and enjoy the blessing of having little ones entrusted to our care and raise them by His design, not ours. By His good and wise counsel, God has instructed us to lovingly train up our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph 6:4). This instruction isn't some sort of archaic, impersonal commandment, but rather a glorious privilege and gift from God on how to best care for our precious children in accordance with His perfect Word rather than our fallible opinions.

"All have turned aside; together have become worthless; no one does good, not even one...And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him."
~Romans 3:12, Hebrews 11:6 (ESV)

Only through the hearing and receiving of the Gospel of Jesus Christ can any parent train up their children in the Way (that is, the narrow and holy way of Christ) they should go. If we don't understand the Gospel and if we haven't truly received it, the message of hope and the freedom found only in Christ can never be obtained, lived or taught.

It's only by God's grace that any of us are saved and it's only by His special grace upon His chosen people that we are kept and sanctified by the power of His Holy Spirit. I can't save either of my sons, but I can share and live the Gospel before them. I can't make them love God and others. But I can love God and others before them. I can't make them compassionate and considerate people. But I can demonstrate this through sacrificial service to them and others. I can't make them humble and thankful. But I can submit to my Lord Jesus and my husband joyfully and speak of the gratitude I have for the provisions God has made in my life.

Now that my sons are grown, I often ask myself, "Could I have done better?" And the answer is assuredly "YES!" There are so many things I've recently learned that I wish I knew two decades ago. But I didn't. And I know God allowed for that so I don't beat myself over the head with it. So what do I do with this new and improved parenting information I didn't have to benefit my children? I turn to those who are behind me and share this nugget of wisdom with them so their children can benefit. After all, what good is a blessing if you don't share it with others?

And this is the consolation: though none of us parents perfectly, by God's grace our children will be what He has ordained in His book in conjunction with our obedience, and even in spite of our disobedience. So though we may not be able to personally use all the wisdom about parenting we will continue to learn throughout our lives, we can still have the joy and privilege of passing them onto those who are raising the next generation.

"Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them...And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ...if we are faithless, He remains faithful—for He cannot deny Himself."
~Psalm 139:16, Philippians 1:6, 2 Timothy 2:13 (ESV)

Tomorrow is Mother's Day, a day where many mother's will be honored and celebrated by her children, husbands, other family members, friends and even some online friends the Lord has allowed.

It'll be a beautiful day, but is this all that it's about? Is Mother's Day, a day only to honor our earthly mothers or be honored ourselves? Or is a day, another day we get to give thanks to God for His inexpressible Gift of Christ (2 Cor 9:15)? It's a tough question even for me to answer because like everyone else, I like to be praised, applauded, honored, appreciate and noticed. I like being made to feel special. Don't we all?

About four years ago when I was in the midst of nearly daily doctor's appointments and serious and painful tests, I prayed to the LORD for help and He led me to a faithful sister in Christ, Rachel Barkey. Rachel, a wife and mother of two young children, fiercely battled breast cancer for more than four years. Only a few months prior to her last speaking engagement (below) Rachel bravely, soberly and realistically shared her view of the cancer God allowed to ravish her body, but not her spirit bound in Christ.

With precious and appropriate humor, and real tears and frustrations of leaving her young family, Rachel shines the life of Christ even as she walks down the valley of the shadow of death.

She requested this speaking engagement to be videotaped so that her young children will be able to see and hear her message to them—know God, know yourself, know the Gospel and know your purpose.

This is truly a woman to be praised. A woman who lived and faced death desiring only to bear the image of Jesus during her short time here on this earth.

On Mother's Day, the greatest honor I desire is for the Lord Jesus to be praised and for His life to shine through me and be evident to all. After all, what greater gift can a mother give and live before her children than a faith that saves (James 2:14)?

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the fruit of hands, and let her works praise her in the gates...I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me...Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him..."

~Proverbs 31:30-31, Galatians 2:20, Philippians 3:8-9 (ESV)

My precious sister in Christ, Rachel, whom I never met in person (but look forward to meeting when I get Home) fully demonstrated the above Scriptures. I pray that I too may live and leave this kind of legacy—a legacy of faith in Christ, a faith that saves and not one that just makes people feel good.

Whenever the Lord brings this precious sister to mind, please pray for her family who still misses her; especially on special days like tomorrow.

Happy Mother's Day.

The first week of April 2014, my darling husband Jim shared something on Facebook that really peaked my interest. He posted the Bible study, Scripture memory and reading methods of A.W. Pink. After reading it, I was a bit hesitant, but printed it out and desired to do the same.

"In my early years I assiduously followed this threefold course:

"First, I read through the entire Bible three times a year (eight chapters in the Old Testament, and two in the New Testament daily.) I steadily persevered in this for ten years, in order to familiarize myself with its contents, which can only be done by consecutive reading.

"Second, I studied a portion of the Bible each week, concentrating for ten minutes (or more) each day on the same passage, pondering the order of it, the connection between each statement, seeking a definition of the important terms in it, looking up all the marginal references, being on the look-out for its typical significance.

"Third, I meditated on one verse each day; writing it out on a slip of paper in the morning, memorizing it, consulting it at odd moments through the day; pondering separately each word in it, asking God to open for me its spiritual meaning and to write it on my heart. The verse was my food for that day, meditation standing to reading as mastication does to eating.

"The more some such method as the above be followed out, the more shall we be able to say, ‘thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path’ [Ps 119:105].”

~Arthur Pink, Letters of A.W. Pink

I was hesitant because I'm a slow reader and wasn't sure I could actually complete step one daily. I already do steps two and three, so that was no problem. But step one loomed over me. So I decided to test the waters and timed myself during my first initial readings before I committed myself to this seemingly arduous task.

To my surprise, I discovered it only took me anywhere from 30-45 minutes to read 10 chapters of Scripture per day. I was ashamed because as I considered the short time span, instantly my mind went to all the old movies I like to watch (approximately two hours long), the collective time I spend on social media throughout the day, the "breaks" I take and well, other "projects" I take on (that I don't need to) and...you get the picture. I have more than enough time in every day to spend in my Lord's Word.

Well, almost exactly a month later, I must admit, I've not been as diligent as I had hoped. However, I continue to press on, praying and asking God to help me better manage my time and especially my rebellious attitude toward daily Bible reading. I know it may sound a bit strange to hear a women's Bible teacher say she struggles to read the Bible daily, but I do.

"Blessed is the man [person] who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law [instruction] of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night."

~Psalm 1:1-2 (ESV)

As much as I love the Word of God, I have at times, given into my sinful flesh and do not feed off of God's Word as I ought. I know I should, and I always love it when I do (because who doesn't feel better after a good meal...especially from the Lord's table)? But I find myself with the same battle the Apostle Paul writes of in Romans 7:18-24. And like the Apostle, though wrangling with this flesh, I rejoice saying, "Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" who alone has freed me and given me victory over the desires of this wretched flesh.

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

~Hebrews 4:15-16 (ESV)

So in my time of need, as I am tempted to do something else besides feed from my Lord Jesus, the Word of God, I thank God for His Holy Spirit who reminds me that I can confidently pray, knowing I will receive help and be able stand up from under this temptation (1 Cor 10:13).

With this hope, I press on without guilt of missed chapters or a missed day, but also without glibly thanking God for help, then misapply His grace as an excuse to continue sinning. Instead, the more grace God gives, the more I desire to be obedient to His Word and gather my daily Manna; He so lovingly provided me from Heaven. After all, what other response is there for such glorious grace? That is, if we truly understand God's grace.

God's mercies are new every morning (Lam 3:22-23). And I don't want to miss it because I wasn't disciplined enough the night before to go to bed when I should have; so I could wake up when I needed to; in order to give God the first fruits of my day like He gave me His First Fruit—His One and Only begotten Son.

If any of you are feeling like a marginal Christian like I often do, please read the short biography of A.W. Pink that I've included below. After reading about this giant of a Christian and where he struggled to be obedient to the Lord, I felt like there just might be some hope for me after all. I pray it'll be a source of encouragement for you as well.

Arthur Walkington Pink was born in 1886 in Nottingham, England. Though A.W. Pink was raised in a Christian home, he participated in a pre-New Age religious group of theosophicals until his early 20s. Nonetheless, his father faithfully taught him the Scriptures, and at age 22, A.W. Pink repented of his idolatry and put his full trust in Jesus Christ alone.

Desiring to better understand the Bible, he left England and came to the United States in the early 1900s to attend Moody Bible Institute. He left the institute six weeks later. Pink eventually pastored churches in four different states and also served in Australia for two to three years. In 1934 he returned to England after making the decision to serve the Lord through a writing ministry rather than a pastorate.

A.W. Pink was a deeply intellectual recluse, and could never find a church in which he felt he could both pastor and fellowship. Besides his dear wife Vera (whom he married in 1916), Pink didn't associate well with others. Though an outstanding theologian and exhorter of the Christian faith, he, like the rest of us, had sin issues, and lack of faithful fellowship with other Christians was one of them.

Pink and his wife moved to Scotland in 1940 where he continued his reclusive life and writing ministry until his death in 1952. And like his life, his death was quiet, with only a few aware of his Home going.

"Day by day, dear Lord, of Thee three things I pray: to see Thee more clearly, to love Thee more dearly, to follow Thee more nearly." (Richard of Chichester, 1197-1253)

prodigal (ˈprä-di-gəl) adj 1: exceedingly or recklessly wasteful.

Before I share where our youngest son, our prodigal is today, I want you to join me as I remember where we've been; soberly view where we are now; and with great hope, share where we're headed.

From the day we found out God blessed us with each son; beautiful gifts of life growing inside of me, we sang songs of worship and read Scriptures to our boys so their lives (as much as it was up to us) would be saturated with God's grace, peace and love.

Every moment was beautiful, even the hard moments when we nearly lost both of them. Our oldest son was born with a rare condition called pyloric stenosis. If this developed, it usually happened two months after birth, but Michael was born with it; so by the time he was only two weeks old, he required emergency surgery so he wouldn't die from starvation. He's now a very healthy and robust 21 year old young man and we are grateful to the Lord!

At two months of age, it was discovered that our youngest son had a weak lower esophageal sphincter (LES) that would open during digestion; causing excessive vomiting. Pyloric spasms aggravated the issue and intensified the vomiting (about 180 times during the daytime hours and 198 times during the nighttime hours). Surgery was highly recommended, but it was a surgery that would adversely affect the rest of his life. So after much prayer, Jim and I consulted with our wonderful pediatrician God blessed us with, who agreed there were home remedies (along with strong prescription medications necessary to strengthen Kevin's LES) we could implement.

It was a tough three years, but we got through what we thought and hoped would be the worst years of his life. But one night, while Jim and I were out celebrating our ninth wedding anniversary (a week after Kevin's sixth birthday) we were called by paramedics who informed us that our precious son was hit by a car. We met them at the hospital and later discovered he had a two inch break in his skull and needed to be taken to Children's Medical Center to be seen by pediatric neurosurgeons.

Due to his difficult infant years and near fatal car accident, I was compelled to be more careful with Kevin and keenly sensitive to him being injured in any way. I didn't want anyone to hurt him physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually. I felt he had enough pain and I just wanted him to enjoy the life God gave him. But I think I wanted this too much at times. So much so, I let things go with him, things I never allowed Michael to be excused from. I may have been too lenient with Kevin. I don't know.

Has my son walked away from the Gospel-centered teaching he was raised with, only to entertain the deceptive idea that he in fact is in God's will simply because he's happy? Did I do that? Did I cause that? Is he a false convert and is this all my fault?

At one point I determined the answer was "Yes." it was all my fault. Had I been a better mother...had I not been so lazy...had I taken every opportunity to teach him more accurately about God, then he would have never chosen the life he's living right now—rash, reckless and wasteful—squandering the lavish gifts in Christ he's received from the Lord through his family and multitudes of Christians throughout his life.

He's been gone for a little over a week now. During the first week, I was engulfed with guilt over all my short-comings as a mother. I spent many days and sleepless nights weeping like I've never wept before and praying until I had no prayers left. I repented over and over again for all the times I could remember where I should've been more patient, kind, gracious, less offended, more wise...and the list goes on. I was convinced our precious son turned away from God's sound teachings and wonderfully wise and good Word because I was a complete failure as a mother.

Then my husband reminded me of God's Word in Exodus 32:30-35, 33:19, Jeremiah 17:9-10 and Psalm 115:3. He rightly encouraged me to remember who God is—sovereign, good and loving. And he exhorted me to trust the Lord with my son, all that's happened in the past, all that's happening now and all that will happen in the future. He reminded me that Kevin is responsible for his own choices...not us. He also reminded me that though he and I we didn't grow up in Christian homes (as I shared in my previous article) by God's grace, we were able to make wise choices.

"Your testimonies are wonderful; therefore my soul keeps them. The unfolding of Your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple...I lift my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth."

~Psalm 119:129-130, 121:1-2

God never promised we wouldn't suffer in this world. As a matter of fact, Jesus said just the opposite in John 16:33. But the promise is that He has overcome the deadly sting of all our pains; therefore in Him, we too have overcome them and can suffer them well (2 Cor 4:16-18).

So how can I suffer well with my prodigal son, my precious babe from my womb whom I love more than my own life and would give it in an instant if it would solve all his problems?

I can suffer well with my son by:

Keeping my marriage covenant rather than allowing this adversity to divide me and my husband with the blame game, or silently suffering alone (which, being an introvert, I'm very inclined to do).
Listening to my husband's wise counsel rather than shrug it off as just some "nice" things he's saying to cheer me up and help me "move on".
Still loving him God's way, found in God's Word, rather than compromising and loving him as the world and he would like me to, that is, to condone everything he says or does for the sake of false peace.
Remaining steadfast in God's Word so if he returns, I can hold him up, if he can't stand.
Praying for him and not against him.
Being true to who I am in Christ, weeping when necessary, rejoicing as it comes and never putting on a show just so others will think well of me.
Reminding him he is loved and always welcome home...with any means God's provides...perhaps even with this article.

When Kevin was seriously injured after his car accident, my husband was hurriedly driving and said, "I'll drive, while you pray." I was in shock and my mind was blank after getting off the phone with the paramedics so I didn't know what to pray. Then I recalled God's Word in Romans 8:26 and I thanked Him for His Spirit's intercession on our son's behalf. Immediately after I gave thanks, the Lord reminded me of a passage I read almost exactly two years prior to this incident: Psalm 126:5-6. And this is the prayer that gave me hope then, and even now as I strive to suffer well with my precious prodigal son.

"Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing sheaves with him."

~Psalm 126:5-6

I pray my precious son Kevin will be included in the sheaves I get to bring with me when Christ returns or calls me Home.

If you're reading this son, the door is open.

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