Just like many little girls, I used to dream about what my future husband would look like. Not just on the outside, but more importantly, on the inside. I would dream that my God would give me a husband who loved me well, more than he loved anyone. I dreamed he would work hard for our family and be the perfect father to our children. I dreamed he'd take me wherever I wanted to go and do whatever I desired. I dreamed that his every waking moments thoughts would be about me. I dreamed my perfect husband, would be more committed to me than he was to anyone or anything else. I just wanted someone all to myself, for myself. To me, that was the most perfect husband. Oh, and of course, he needed to be handsome beyond belief. That was understood.
Well, one day I grew up. And found that most men were just as self-centered as I was and their dream wife was nearly just the same as my dream husband. Of course, this wasn't going to work since part of my dream had nothing to do with giving to another person the way I expected to be given to. Not only that, but the men I did meet that was near the description I had dreamed were a bit more obsessed with me than I realized I'd ever be comfortable with.
After years of searching for my dream husband, I gave up after realizing that he doesn't exist...at least not my version.
At age 20, I prayed, repented and asked God to bring me the husband He made, perfectly fitted for me, just as God pleased and not as I pleased. I was also open to staying single for the rest of my life, if that's what was most pleasing to the Lord. I knew He would make me able to do anything He chose for me. During this time, I enjoyed the greatest freedom I'd ever experienced in my life and grew more and more in love with my awesome Savior, Jesus Christ my Lord!
A year later, with great love, mercy and abounding grace, God moved my husband right next door to me. I guess so I wouldn't miss him. And I didn't.
It was more than love at first sight. It was forever at first sight. Like never before, from deep within, I knew got put in me, a great and abiding love for this man that I had never known. There was a sense of newness and familiarity all at the same time. I'm not sure how these coexist, but it did for both of us and we knew we were both the ones we'd been praying for.
Did my husband fit my "dream"? Thanks be to God, NO! He was more than I ever knew I could even dream of. He's beyond handsome, inside and out! And I'm not his first or one and only love. I am his second, because Jesus is his first. His ever waking moment is on Christ and then on me. He's not the perfect father and never claims to be, rather he faithfully points our sons to the only one who is, the LORD God Almighty. He's not obsessed with me, nor fulfills my every desire, for some of my desires are wicked. Instead he prays for me, loves me like Christ loves the church, protecting me, sacrificing his desires for mine, considers me the weaker vessel and washes me daily with the word of God. My darling husband's only obsession is Christ Jesus our Lord. And his greatest desire is not to fulfill all mine, but to please Jesus with every breath he has.
I didn't know I could ever have a husband like this. I am sure I don't deserve him, but am so grateful to God that His gifts of grace aren't given based on me, but they are based on His Son, therefore, He gives me all things in greater abundance than I will ever deserve.
These are all the reasons why my darling husband is more than my Valentine. He's God's second most greatest gift to me and my second greatest love. I pray I will forever demonstrate to God my deepest gratitude my second love.
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